55!

55 sits up today in 2min

Muscle

Apparently working out too much can hurt.
found out what the rotator cuff is - shoulder muscles
So my rotator cuff was really soar - took a week off of push-ups
easyin back into it -


pusups- down to 30
sit ups- not sure
2 mile run- im sure i could do a 14min



amazing what exercise can do for how you feel

Different World

the smell of oil, grease and cigarettes were going through my nose as I listened to two men of war tell their stories. Post traumatic stress meetings, starting the car without getting inside and getting shot by a sniper at a checkpoint with a bullet proof vest on. What is the mind of a warrior? burdened yet determined. Surrounded by a crowd, if any one of them had weapon they would be dead. Story after story. I wonder, where is my place in all this?

heard another story and had to express it

I went out into the wood.
didn't come back the same
Never to return
for what I've seen
I saw blood cover his face.
changed forever
for what I've seen
How can I believe in God
for what I've seen.
Just believe? you gotta be kidding?
They're young and dying out there in the wood
I have to be with them
for what I've seen




I want to weep without words
for my heart hurts with you.



If He can see what you see without turning His face
Then He can hear what you have to say.
Go to him with what you have
then listen,
for perhaps he'll answer you.
He's listening, answering those who call out his name.
Then your belief will be supernatural and true.
Personal

progress is slower than I thought but progress non the less

push ups : 35
sit ups : 40


havent found a job in the last 2months - not sure whats going on - maybe i should have higher goals than just a job to pay the bills - but isnt that whats the army is for - anyways need to make rent so i can forge foward for another month and see what happens - i think im realizing what hard work is

pumping up

as of today

push ups - 30
sit ups - 35
2 mile run - 16min

try and blog my progress

everyone thought i was an adult
but i was just a kid
looking for someone to take me in
can a man enter a second time into his mothers womb
and be born again?
the ship has sailed
the search has ended
im born again to the father in heaven

the love of others propels me forward
but doesn't satisfy my soul.
friends say goodbye but jesus says hello.
out of the heart comes evil thoughts
into the heart- he must go

my heart pounds with pain
knowing i've been shamed
but the word from heaven
says i've been sustained.
the lips are close but the heart is far away


wait and listen
freedom is alive and waiting.
hear and understand,
in returning and rest is your salvation
in quietness and trust is your strength

had an interesting day today - there is some discipleship material floating around the church where one person disciples someone and then at the same time going over with another person kinda cool my mom is like the pro in the church
i started to go through this with my dad and i always have odd feelings- probably because i dont like to be with him sometimes
but through forgiveness of christ ive traversed the line and see a different side to him - today he went through the material teaching me about a relationship with christ - my mind jumps between this is nice conversing about these things and now? these things surface ive could of used this information when i was younger -but better late then never .the grace of god is wonderful, what a blessing to know that christ has truely died so we can be with god

now some
contradicting korea pictures

was nice

ARMY

I joined the US Army Reserves on Tuesday April 30th.
For the next 6yrs this will be apart of my life. With this I feel like I will be accomplishing a lifetime goal I never knew I had. Whats life if your not risking it that's my motto, but im a depressed adrenaline junkie. I realized lately that I have habit of inappropriately joking about myself. If I were standing on a stage making people laugh about how im a depressed skinny guy it would totally be appropriate, funny how that works. Thats a short update....

Everyone has seen quotes of famous people that many people say. So I thought it would be cool to try come up with my own. So this is


'Quotes for when I die'


"Everyone is born, then spend the rest of their lives healing from the shock of
reality"


"People kill each other, think about that for awhile."


"Sometimes I think im cool, then I realize im just hangin with cool people."


"Finding something to live for is less important than finding something to die for."


"In the extreme, truth is found."


"I can't make dirt"


"90% of what i think is full of crap, that's why i only verbalize ten percent."



my friend howard has some good quotes here is a sampler



"im all about shake and bake" (not an exact quote)



"everyone can be great, because everyone can serve" MLK jr - ill keep working at it

update

hey i haven't posted in a long time so i thought i would.. post
it has been an interesting road lately that I think im getting a clearer picture of. I started to lose things over the last 3-4 months that has been different from the previous months/years.
My video camera was stolen/lost, i no longer new what i was going to be doing when i was not going on the 2yr mission, my hard drive crashed with alot of my pictures,music,video and i lost my picture camera. Many things close to my soul.
I think it has been God teaching me to follow him step by step and not rely on things,relationships,or plans
some scripture that has come with that is about Moses, when Gods asks him what he has in hand and then asks him to throw it down and it turns into a snake. Also Jesus said he is the Vine and we are the branches. Im often tempted to look like im following God to others, an appearance. Very cool to know God is there in control.




take break, read the bible - its like a really long movie

how i spent my new years eve