Every Morning

It finally got to me

young guns

i love this part in the movie about the size of the chicken

Some Utah photos that I thought turned out nice
Ive got some video as well that I hope to edit during the break

journal

a journal i kept up during the semester, I think some parts are funny


august 17 2007
i thought about telling some people about this but now decide to right it down.
Without a car I travel more than most people on the transit system. I was coming back from San Diego speding time with the family. I was taking the metro-link train and ended up talking to a lady who goes to Harvest. It felt like an odd conversation with a christian about the crusades and the different churches around Riverside nothing too deep but hopefully it was beneficial in some way. I ended up getting off the train one stop sooner then I normally do. I ended up at tyler mall waiting for the #1 bus to get back to school. I sat down to wait for it and a couple of people sat down next to me. A girl and a guy and they seemed like friends. It wasn't odd that they started talking to me many people who travel on public transportation are friendly. I don't know if i would of tried to share my life of following christ but after spending time with my pastor, which always seems to bring out the importance of Christ and others. They were talking to each other and asked me what I was doing and where I was going. They had the ghetto flavor to their speech, meaning they talk about you while their right next to you. I began to get a sense of what kinda lives they lived. The man talked about how he wanted to get home to get a beer. The girl wanted to get home to her wife. I decided to go with the really easy question "so... do you guys go to church?" the guy said he used to go to a baptist church in LA probably when he was young. The girl said her dad made her read genesis when she was a kid. I have been wearing a bracelet with some scripture on it which has sparked a few conversations. There scriptures that go all around it presenting the gospel with different colors. And this is where it hit me. I usually am not very comfortable wearing outward signs of christianity but i kinda like it now. I forgot that christianity was written all over me that day. I had a CBU shirt on and this bracelet. What hit me the most was that there are only two verses I know by memory on this bracelet. This girl looked down and said "look at that he's all in to this with scripture on his wrist" "do you know what john 3:16 is?" what john 3:16 ? then i quoted it almost stumbling through it , so surprised she just asked me to tell her the gospel. I tried to say it not as if i was quoting something memorized but something with meaning.
the subject changed and my bus came. i ran off probably never to see them again.



september 1, 2007 12:30

i dont know what im doing
i dont want to screw this up
this is your life
i have to let it shine
but what is happening when I feel
Im not ready to be used
are you just waiting for the right time
i know i cant complain and whale and cry
i must live
i must sleep and get up during the light
i cant give up
i wont when there is a reason to go on
when the hero can mold us into heroes
and take the glory
why is it so hard to submit
why do I try and cheat

september 4,5, 2007
we have found out Mel is going to die this week they say.
an emotional start to this semester
I have felt blessed to have known her and she is an inspiration to us all

september 14,2007
She is still hanging in there
its like were all just waiting for the news to come that she is gone
in a way i want it to end
Sure God could give her back to us
I think most people would agree that doesnt appear to be his plan
He is moving big legos around with mels death and a few days ago John Carter left as well
Its giving opportunities to the theater department to do different things which are good
Its like a whole different environment kinda cool
Its like God knows how to give us a good eduction despite CBU short comings
I feel drained and its only the first week of school
i slept in until 10am today then slept some more on the couch for a few hours at like 4-6pm

Semptember 22, 2007
What a week
I think the death of Melodie affected me more than I wanted to admit
I notice in myslef, im a relationship killer. as i grow though , i grow calmer and find relationships i can pursue. i just want to hide at times
id probally kill myself if jesus wasnt so freakin awesome, I love living life with him.


semptember 25, 2007
im going crazy ill find out in a year why


semptember 25, 2008
i didnt go crazy and im living the life


september 29, 2007
Today I learned how to spell september.
Hanna led the bible study in theater today and read Isaiah something something
the one about those who wait on the lord will mount up on eagles wings.
went close to how my last couple of weeks have gone
waiting on the lord need to delve into that part of Lord more
a concept i cant understand.



sometime in early morning


im inhuman
searching throughout time

staying up all night
just to bring a change

I look at lives like laura lawson mellissa
and I want to Love god asmuch as them
to have joy like them to live like them
to breathe like them

i laugh with a joy though
my life is identified with christ
what is impossible with man is possible with God



today the 3rd of november
the play the midsummer play
garret aaron katie and katie the actors have been wonderfull to be apart of this show yet I feel so alone, confused
heh maybe im going through my emotional years of adolencent frustrations, everything seems so pointless
it is so odd so un-normal to look to tommorrow and not desire to give up
I decided a long time ago I am going to follow christ because if I did not I could not watch myself throw this life away no point in living unless there is something to live for and it has found me
We all have the sellfish nature that pulls us down I can see it in everyones face and yet we see joy and yet we find ways to be unselfish

how now brown cow
milk was a bad choice

i wish i could get better at photography
that seems huge
which leads to I wish i could get along with other people to become better at photography and video
I made myself broke the other day and bought a 200 dollar minidv i litterly have 20 dollars
I dont want to ask money from my parents I hoping to get some money from the journalism department soon
Emotionaly constipated heh maybe I just need to like say things like what I just wrote today

testing of a mans soul
what I am made of is dawning


utah
isp application
church-design
design
photos
marine science final
jesus movie paper
jesus viewing papers
jesus research paper
chapel makeup



monday 1:59 am november 11

Theater and faith
they seem to have the ability to go hand and hand its hard to separate
like a trip to see Christ moving in other countries

serving the audience
acting takes commitment
we have a part to play
the part is yours and no one elses
everyone is putting their trust in you to do your part
pass or fail it is yours
the spotlight challenges your purpose
brings people together
can bring a honest view of yourself
working with others




november 22, 2007
megan examplifies a life of a evangalist

the trip has been unreplaceable. The first day I was confronted with a surprise.
Before the trip I was thinking that I would be driving a rented car for the team because last year we had two rented cars. But when we got there we it appeared that i wouldnt drive at all. I had to rely on God then to use me where He wanted.


november 31, 2007
its probally not weird but im so depressed
im so odd
we had broom ball and like 50 mormons showed up which is unbelievable
really amazing so cool
maybe i push my self too hard expect too much and that cant be from God
i don't know but his word says to be about showing his glory. have I done that
whithout making any conversations with people? .. Do i not have enough faith
did I quench the spirit when I wouldnt share with the old lady on the plane do I rely on Gods grace cheaply Do i let fear rule me do i not believe


november 30, 2007
its been a long semester, alot has happend. one more to go. Glory be to God

Mormonism and polygamy

I think one of the most compelling beliefs of mormons was cronicled in the video called 'Lifting the Veil of Polygamy'.
The practice of Polygamy is a belief system that has been taken out of the mainstream LDS church today. Mostly the biggest influence of the faith comes from Joseph Smith and what he did. Something most people may not know is that many of the practices that Mormons do that Christians do not do are not in the Book of the Mormon and contradict their other scriptures. There are two other books that the LDS use as scripture the Peral of Great Price and Doctrine and Covenants which were written by Joseph Smith. Back to polygamy, Joseph Smith had a revelation of Polygamy which is in the Doctrine and Covenants. One of the concepst stated is that plural wives is needed to attain Godhood. They believe that one day they become Gods of their own planet and will populate the planet with their spirit children.
So polygamy becomes essential for salvation. For the woman it becomes very difficult to leave. In one of the verses in Doctrine and Covents it says that if Emma who was Joseph's wife does not allow him to marry other woman she will be dammed to hell. The woman in polygamy become afraid to leave despite how bad it can be sharing your husband with other wives. They sometimes leave and then go back to it because they believe they are going to hell if they do not follow this teaching. So it can be a long road for them to get away from the group. One woman who you can see the love of Christ radiate from her face spoke of it as that every day is a crap shoot and nothing was ever going to be good enough. Their is no grace for them in their beliefs only try and try. She talked about hiding her feelings and deny that living this way caused her pain. She said they are never sure they have a home in heave. I think that is one of the main beliefs to grasp about the LDS.
They belive salvation is worked toward that is not grace alone. They want to attain Deity. We live by the spirit not the flesh. Romans 3:21 "But now apart from the Law the righteousness of God has been manifested, being witnessed by the Law and the Prophets," Romans 8:1 "Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus" They dont know all of what Jesus has done for them.

I hope that makes sense I know im not an amazing writer. I could type for hours and not finish the many things about the LDS Church.

Shaving Process

I was wandering around in a funk today.
Then I took some photos and saw the excitement around me.

Funny?

I call it emo-hyphe-80's look

Shakespear

I got cast in the fall play this year. A midsummer nights dream, A small part which I'm glad about.
It is an intro to shakespear for me. I never read any shakespear in highschool.
This play is really hilarious. So come and see it
Its been an interesting road being involved in theater. It has an amazing and loving community of wonderful people.
I sometimes question the "bigness" of theater. I wonder how cbu students see the productions. It takes great effort to make such a grand show. Does it inspire? Does it give hope to their lives in Christ?
Maybe I need to cover my eyes from the bright sun and venture out of the theater and asks some people.
Anyway I hope this is where Christ wants me.

September 1, 2007 12:30am

trying and trying
never knowing what it will bring
we know the fairy tale will happen
but what will we have to give up?
I hope its enough for eternal glory
try and try
take my eyes off of the ground
rest the armor for another day

Convention

for those who like some sugar

Los Angeles

I decided to go to Los Angeles....
So I dragged myself out of bedded at 6am to catch the bus to downtown to catch the metrolink to Union Station L.A. the destion was an extras casting agency in sherman oaks. I thought it was an oppurtunity while I am here nere LA to
not miss. I would of like to have gone with someone or to meet someone there, but its seems like the summer is passing by quickly. Traveling was nice it was like a little adventure. As I felt the rockin of the train and seeing riverside
pass by I knew id enjoy the day. As we got closer to L.A. the view changed to a graffiti landscape. Felt like entering a place that was wild and rebelious.


I found this video online .. really interesting

As I was riding I read some Bonhoeffer, Life Together, I read a part where he talked about being alone away from community during a persons day as being a test. Life with Christ as in idividual away from community will show how the word of God has affected him. When I am off on a trip alone or if know one knows where I am except me there is a soberness that this life is all my responisiblity, between me and Christ. I wonder as I interact with people, is the light of Christ shining through me today or am I hiding it and tring to be "normal" or "anonymous". I try and keep Gods egenda away from what im doing and
just be going to the store or just going to L.A.
I read awhile ago in Jeremiah 20:7-18. Jeremiah is complaing to God and says
"But if I say, 'I will not remember Him
Or speak anymore in His name,'
Then in my heart it becomes like a burning fire
Shut up in my bones; and I am weary of holding it in,
And I cannot endure it."
I guess if everything a person does becomes about Him, then even going to get a haircut no longer is
about yourself.

I took a few photos



a little mexican music.. and lil dancing from the crowd, was fun

I also went to downtown Riverside and took some pics

pornography :




eyes beholding the future,

intensity changing the mind forever.

it seeks out the young

to take root

like a parasite that can not be seen

eating the soul,

calling him a loser

driving it deeper

taking advantage of

cutting a gash in the head.











a day has come
dawning a war
life glimpsing the freedom from
the past.
lows and strain come in the day
but battles won through friends of God

Sunny San Diego

I randomly decide to go home last weekend and it turned out to be an interesting time.
I wanted to see my pastor but didnt get a hold of him soon enough.
I found out when I got home though that my brother inlaws band Arimathea was playing at house of blues which was really cool
but what i have pictures of is what blogs are made of

I went to balbo park, they were having what they called a Zombie Walk
it was hillariously awesome to see zombies walking in balboa park

What are you doing?

the late night tennis
a favorite pass time for those staying on campus during the summer.
the lights,
the sound of tennis balls bouncing off the court,
and the competive spirt.
I played tennis once my 1st year at CBU. Im thinking I might need to go out and by a racket im missing out.
I have not taken any pictures in a few weeks I was itching to take some photos and why not some night tennis photos.

Arimathea

Went to San Diego on Memorial Weekend and took some photos for my brother inlaws band Arimathea







It was a nice day I enjoyed taking pictures of them and hangin in beautiful San Diego